A Love Letter To My Husband

I can still see so clearly the night I met you, 41 years ago.  You were only 21 and I was 19.  I had no idea then that our future would be together as man and wife.

The years have flown by, and our lives have been busy with 5 children, ministry, jobs and commitments.  Can you believe with twin grandsons due in July we have 15 grandkids?

That puts me in awe even more that we have managed to keep our marriage first and foremost and this weekend we will celebrate our 40^th wedding anniversary!

We didn’t always do everything right and there were times we struggled, especially before we received Christ as Savior. But we learned the value of one another through these years and accepted each other as a provision and a gift from God.  We learned that divorce would never be an option for us and we threw that word out of our disagreements and struggles. And I think most importantly, we grew up together in Christ.  He has taught us so much and is the bedrock of our relationship.  It’s a beautiful place to be when you know that you know that you know the marriage with your spouse with Christ at the center is our forever place here on this earth.

I recently found the documents for a couple wedding ceremonies that you officiated at.  These are a few things that you said in one ceremony:

The reason marriage is so hard is that we have adopted the rules and mindset of the culture instead of the timeless principles of God.

I believe that Disney has had a greater influence on marriage than the church. Fairy tales say if you just find your prince charming you will live happily ever after. The problem with that theory is you go into marriage for self-centered reasons with the goal of having your needs met. (Teresa’s note added for this letter: I can attest to having dated a few frogs)

The Bible says the goal is not to find the right person but to become the right person.

Culture tells us that love is a feeling, but feelings are fleeting. The Bible says that love is our identity. You were created in the image of God and God is love.

Love is never exasperated by their partner because love is patient.

Love never raises their hand or their voice to their partner because love is kind.

Love never has to decide to forgive their partner because love keeps no record of wrongs.

Love never struggles to submit to the needs of their partner because love prefers others above themselves. 

And from another:

We live in a culture that has REDEFINED marriage; it is considered a contract. The essence of a contract is to negotiate terms for your own benefit. In a contract your decisions are always made based on what is best for you.

A covenant is very different, it includes a man, a woman and God. It is a permanent declaration to make every decision based on what is best for all of the members of the covenant.

Biblical love is not a feeling; it is a decision! It is not a noun; it is a verb. It means to assign value to someone in-spite of behavior.      

Love never gives up!

Love cares more for others than for your-self!

Love doesn’t keep track of the failures of others!

Love believes the best and expects the best of others.

You said these things not because they sound nice and Jesus-y, but I know that you said these things because you believe them, and you live them.

There are times in our lives when the word thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough. How do I thank the husband who has loved me all these years; the husband who is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs and prefers me above himself and others? You truly are a husband whose love never gives up!

Well done my love.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25

So, to my husband who did indeed turn out to be a prince, son of the King of kings, I still do.  I still do promise to have and to hold you from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’til death do us part.

Always and forever, with love and thankfulness and honored to be your wife, Teresa.